Talking to Parents About College Choices: How to Do It Right

Talking to Parents About College Choices: How to Do It Right

Discussing college choices with your parents can be challenging. In this article, you will learn how to conduct the conversation effectively.

Preparation

Know what you want to discuss. Which programs are you considering? Why? What are your doubts? Write it down. A prepared conversation is more effective.

Choose the Right Moment

Not just before dinner or when everyone is in a hurry. Plan a time when you can talk calmly. Say, "I would like to talk about my college choices, when do we have time?"

Listen to Their Perspective

Parents have experience and concerns. Listen to them. You don’t have to agree, but understanding helps. Ask, "What do you think is important? What are you worried about?"

Explain Your Perspective

Why are certain programs appealing to you? What have you researched? What are your doubts? The more you explain, the better they can understand your choice.

Use Objective Information

A career assessment or college choice test can help. It’s not just "I just want X" but "the test and my research point to X." Objective input supports the conversation.

[Start the test together](/test)

Reaching a Decision Together

The goal is not for your parents to choose for you. The goal is for you to come to a decision together that you support and they can agree with. Compromise may be necessary; the final choice is yours.

Frequently Asked Questions

What if my parents disagree with my choice?

Explain why you are choosing what you are choosing. Show that you have thought about it. Sometimes a third party (counselor, career coach) can help facilitate the conversation. Ultimately, it’s your life and your choice.

Should I take my parents to open houses?

It can be helpful. They will see what you see and can engage in the conversation better. But also go alone. Sometimes it’s nice to experience things without their immediate reaction.